Where have I been since my last post in May? Why the prolonged absence? I am not exactly sure, I have been overwhelmed by my health lately and was taking a class during that time which didn’t help my stress much. Every day I would tell myself I need to make another post but would inevitably put it off telling myself I would feel better the next day. I could not handle it. I still feel a bit overwhelmed like I am drowning in the woes of my health issues.
AT the moment this is month 5 of AIP diet. I had high hopes of being able to eat a lot of foods right now and at least more paleo. Sadly that is not where I am at, nor am I anywhere near such a diet. I am still here on the same basic aip none of my intros go very well at all and lately have only gotten worse. A bad reactive food obliterates my colon [to keep as clean of an image as possible lol]. Reactions always happen as an itchy rash but lately like this past month or so I get a rash everyday on my knees and cannot figure out what is causing it. I thought I was bitten by a brown recluse until my skin didn’t disintegrate overtime. I react so much now I cant even take the time to intro because it only makes everything worse.
I feel like I’m at the end of my rope most days, barely hanging on by a thread. It offends me that I can go cold turkey into a diet or anything for my health, never cheat it, stick to it through herxheimer reactions and extreme die off just to still have just as many health problems as before I started. Especially since I have been at this for years it is all very disheartening. All the while I am in more pain everyday from some new symptom yet cannot peg what is wrong.
On top of that not looking as sick as I am means I receive no sympathy. Family does not understand why everyday chores overwhelm me. Why I miss out on special events/occasions. Why I can’t eat, that probably bothers me the most given my childhood of being known for eating you out of house and home. I am jealous when I see people make a simple change like drinking regular soda instead of diet and all their health is given to them. I gave up everything to be healthy and am no where near being anything resembling health. My symptoms fit nothing through all my research yet everyday I get worse so I say no time like the present to finally get me on here writing. I try not to write when I’m down but I don’t have any sunshine in me today and today I wanted to write so here it is.
If you struggle with your health where do you turn to? Lemme know below =)